Friday, April 1, 2016

Perpetual Worrying


Just when I was beginning to get worried about Baby O's constant need for the pacifier all day long, today, she was rejecting it. I was alright with using the pacifier to help to soothe her to sleep but she seems to want it all day long nowadays even when she is awake. 

And, here I am again - WORRYING about her rejecting it !

I was afraid of her forming a bad habit that would be hard to kick off because at times she would be furiously sucking away and the moment the pacifier drops out from her mouth - "there she goes again" -  it would start off with her calling out for her personal butler (ie. me) to put it back in her mouth and if I fail to attend to her "in time", she'd start crying. Zzz.

But NOW, if she seems to be rejecting the pacifier, it means that I am back to becoming the pacifier!!! Either way, a baby that does not reject the pacifier is a blessing - alternatives are so important.

Week after week, one thing's for sure - my baby is consistently inconsistent. 

The moment I start worrying about something, things will turn back to normal eventually.
The moment I am content, something crops ups ! WHY OH WHY!

There are days when she sleeps well, waking up once in the middle of the night and the next time she wakes up is around 7 a.m. Other times, she could STILL wake several times every half an hour. This usually happens when she is too tired to feed and will fall asleep at the breast but the moment you put her back in the cot, she will wake up asking to be fed again. 

And the problem with this is that, when she's asleep at the breast, no matter how much you prod her or move her to get her to continue drinking, she will be sleeping like a LOG! -_-"   

And just a few days ago, her bowel habits have changed! From pooping once in 5 days, now she has been going twice a day ! It's back to using lots of baby wipes and diapers daily - which just means, more work for me.

I can't stop wondering why the sudden change? Is it because I have been drinking orange juice the past few days? I should be thankful that her bowel habits have started to become more regular but at the same time, I can't help but wonder whether it is my diet? 

But if so, I used to drink orange juice in the previous weeks when she did not have a bowel movement for quite some time but she did not poop everyday.

Also, I noticed a rash developing on her left eye brow. I kept trying to think of whether it was because of something that I ate recently but I am unable to pinpoint it down to any food since I have taken dairy out of my diet.

Recently, I have not been pumping milk as well. I used to pump milk once a day, in the morning to avoid engorgement and over leaking - but now, there isn't a need to do so anymore. Not sure if my body has adjusted to Baby O's demands or if my supply has dropped?

Baby O has been latching for shorter periods. More efficient in consuming milk? But less time at the breast could also reduce my supply? Is it because she is on the pacifier more often? Should I eat more milk boosters? Lactation brownies? But then again, if she is hungry and not getting enough milk she would be crying? But the doctor said that she is growing well, so I need not worry. But what if she is not getting enough? Do babies get gastric? AND THE QUESTIONS go on and on . . . 

The questions that play around in my head daily have been taking up a lot of energy and time. This is my new life. Amazing how so much has changed. 

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