Sunday, April 17, 2016

A blessing, both ways.

Sad to say, most of us find it hard to be contented.

I know that if I were still working now and had a baby, at work I'd be like -
SIGH I wish I could stay at home and see my daughter grow up, etc . . .

. . . . but now that I am a SAHM, I have been getting thoughts of being on the 'other side' like -
HOW nice it would be if I could work and earn some moolah to splurge
rather than stay at home and go crazy due to the lack of sleep. . . .
at least I'll still get some "freedom" during the day while at work
and come home to my daughter later in the evening.

People say that it's a blessing to be a SAHM.
I won't deny that but it is ALSO a blessing to be able to be a working mum.

Most of my ex colleagues who have babies have their in laws or family members look after their babies. At least it gives them a peace of mind at work knowing someone trustworthy is looking after their child.

It is such a blessing to be a working mum and to have willing and trustworthy family members look after your baby. I personally feel that this arrangement is the best of both worlds.

x x x x x x x x

New challenges have been cropping up for me now that she is more alert -
her nap times are now shorter and she constantly wants people to talk to her or layan her.

On lucky days, she will self entertain herself on the bed
by watching the fan go round and round and round.

But there have been days when she is always calling out for people
the second you leave her alone in the room.

And the thing is that she is not contented until she is carried around
or sometimes, she just wants to be entertained.
The baby life. Pure bliss.

And oh, recently she has been "complaining" to me the entire day and I find it so hard to figure out what she is trying to tell me -_-"

While she does not cry as much as before,
she sure seems to complain ALOT!

She will frown while talking to me angrily
and sometimes, she will show me her pitiful sad sulky face.

POOR ME ! Bullied by a baby.

This is also most evident when it comes to feeding time.

Whenever she's hungry and other people are carrying her, she seems to have more patience for her feed but if I am the one carrying her and it so happens to be her feeding time, she will cry and scream.

I wonder if this has got to do with her 'personality' or it's just a normal baby thing?!
Only time will tell!

Friday, April 1, 2016

Perpetual Worrying

Just when I was beginning to get worried about Baby O's constant need for the pacifier all day long, today, she was rejecting it. I was alright with using the pacifier to help to soothe her to sleep but she seems to want it all day long nowadays even when she is awake. 

And, here I am again - WORRYING about her rejecting it !

I was afraid of her forming a bad habit that would be hard to kick off because at times she would be furiously sucking away and the moment the pacifier drops out from her mouth - "there she goes again" -  it would start off with her calling out for her personal butler (ie. me) to put it back in her mouth and if I fail to attend to her "in time", she'd start crying. Zzz.

But NOW, if she seems to be rejecting the pacifier, it means that I am back to becoming the pacifier!!! Either way, a baby that does not reject the pacifier is a blessing - alternatives are so important.

Week after week, one thing's for sure - my baby is consistently inconsistent. 

The moment I start worrying about something, things will turn back to normal eventually.
The moment I am content, something crops ups ! WHY OH WHY!

There are days when she sleeps well, waking up once in the middle of the night and the next time she wakes up is around 7 a.m. Other times, she could STILL wake several times every half an hour. This usually happens when she is too tired to feed and will fall asleep at the breast but the moment you put her back in the cot, she will wake up asking to be fed again. 

And the problem with this is that, when she's asleep at the breast, no matter how much you prod her or move her to get her to continue drinking, she will be sleeping like a LOG! -_-"   

And just a few days ago, her bowel habits have changed! From pooping once in 5 days, now she has been going twice a day ! It's back to using lots of baby wipes and diapers daily - which just means, more work for me.

I can't stop wondering why the sudden change? Is it because I have been drinking orange juice the past few days? I should be thankful that her bowel habits have started to become more regular but at the same time, I can't help but wonder whether it is my diet? 

But if so, I used to drink orange juice in the previous weeks when she did not have a bowel movement for quite some time but she did not poop everyday.

Also, I noticed a rash developing on her left eye brow. I kept trying to think of whether it was because of something that I ate recently but I am unable to pinpoint it down to any food since I have taken dairy out of my diet.

Recently, I have not been pumping milk as well. I used to pump milk once a day, in the morning to avoid engorgement and over leaking - but now, there isn't a need to do so anymore. Not sure if my body has adjusted to Baby O's demands or if my supply has dropped?

Baby O has been latching for shorter periods. More efficient in consuming milk? But less time at the breast could also reduce my supply? Is it because she is on the pacifier more often? Should I eat more milk boosters? Lactation brownies? But then again, if she is hungry and not getting enough milk she would be crying? But the doctor said that she is growing well, so I need not worry. But what if she is not getting enough? Do babies get gastric? AND THE QUESTIONS go on and on . . . 

The questions that play around in my head daily have been taking up a lot of energy and time. This is my new life. Amazing how so much has changed.