Some say that it's the hormonal changes that is driving me crazy but I don't think that is the case for me.
While I was pregnant, one of my biggest fears was postnatal depression. I used to have a tendency to fall into a pit of desolate thoughts and was afraid that I might suffer the same stupid thoughts.
Thankfully, so far, I have not been depressed about any of the changes that have taken place in my life thanks to the babysitting support I have from my family members.
I have been driven to extreme moments frustration over the past 2 months and constant feelings of guilt and worry. However, the sheer delight and happiness that Olivia brings into our lives makes every other feeling pale in comparison.
Thought that I'd just like to document my experiences so far (some expected but most I did not anticipate) :
1. Looking back at Olivia's piercing cries that takes place almost the same time every other day, I reckon that she was suffering from colic. The more I read up on colic and experiences of other parents, the more convinced I am that she was suffering from it. She only developed this after she turned one month old.
The crying took place almost every other day and initially, the only way I could console her was to let her latch. However, one day, that did not work at all (she did not want to latch) and she just cried and cried her lungs out.
Colic is a NIGHTMARE to deal with. It makes you feel helpless and not only that, I have lost my patience so many times during her bouts of crying.
I have stormed out of the room leaving her to cry all by herself. I was so angry at her (even though it's not her fault at all) and after each colic storm has passed, I'd feel all guilty for leaving her to cry by herself. Sometimes, I'd even raise my voice at her while asking her "WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!?!"
I'd even shut the door so that her cries would be slightly muted and less painful to my ears. I need a time out for myself when she cries.
Basically, colic to me is like BABY PMS !!! You just have to accept that the baby has his/her unexplainable moments of erratic mood swings and that there is little that you can do to deal with it.
However, the good news about colic is that IT GOES AWAY ! I do not want to speak too soon but I have noted that she has stopped crying as such over the past few days and things have gotten so much easier for me now.
2. I had to cut out dairy from my diet because I suspect that it is causing Olivia to be gassy and fussy. Also, her cheeks were developing rashes (a sign of allergy) and what made me most concerned was that she did not poo for 11 days. Read up that babies cannot fully digest cow's milk.
Olivia's paed was not concerned that she did not poo for 11 days. She used to poo everyday until she turned one month old. He asked me whether she was exclusively breastfed and whether she was drinking well, which she is and was. He told me that breastfed babies may not poo as regularly because the milk is so well digested by the baby and although 11 days was long, he has seen some babies go up to 3 weeks without pooping.
Thankfully, she pooped on the 12th and 13th day - a massive amount on the 13th day! And her poop is still soft - she was not constipated.
Since I have stopped drinking milk and yoghurt on a daily basis, I personally feel that there is an improvement in her bowel habits. Now she goes once every 5 days.
Oh, my phone is also now filled with pictures of her poo (just in case I need to show it to the paed). #mumlife
3. The breastmilk vs formula milk battle is real. Family members have varying opinions on this and you have to be prepared to "listen" to some of them expressing their opinions on why you should mix feed formula milk. I have nothing against formula milk if I have to give it out of necessity but I have an issue when I have enough of milk but yet am still asked to give formula milk.
Also, be prepared to listen to your "elders" asking you to feed the baby water too, which btw, should be avoided if the baby is less than 6 months old.
4. I didn't expect serious backlash from certain family members when I mentioned that I was planning a holiday with Olivia. "You should not travel by air until she is at least one year old. She is too young...etc". Well, if you don't mind babysitting, I will take your advice into consideration :)
Travelling with the baby is an issue to others but not to me, but travelling without the baby is now a problem. My friend told me that she has never managed to travel anywhere without her baby because she is unable to find anyone reliable to take care of her baby for a long period. SIGH OH SIGH.
5. Being a SAHM is way more tiring than having an office job because work never ends at home!!! I am thankful to have a helper now because without her, I would not have home cooked lunch and dinner on the table. She also used to help me to bathe Olivia but I have started to bathe Olivia myself because it is such a joy to see her all happy and cheery while being bathed.
At this point in time, I really cannot imagine juggling time between the baby and housework. I really admire those who can manage both.
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I realised that my posts have been SO WORDY this year.
Getting more long winded and aunty already - #motherhood? HAHAHA.