Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Before the engagement.

I just thought of sharing some details of the events that happened prior to the engagement.

Rewinding back to a year ago,
I remember how fearful I was
about getting married.

Whenever that subject would crop up,
I told warned Mike that if he ever did propose to me,
I'm not sure as to whether I'd say yes
because I wasn't ready.

There were times when I would lay down in bed in my room
just reminiscing and reflecting on my life -
looking at how I've spent 20 over years in this very room of mine,
having wonderful home cooked meals prepared for me
having my dad and mum and family all around
and my dog too.

I just couldn't imagine the thought of moving out from my home.

I know that I should be independent at my age
but perhaps, a huge part of me just refuses to fly out of the nest.

Why would I want to do so
when I am so comfortable and happy at home?

Also, in order to delay the whole 'engagement process',
I would use the excuse *cough*
that I ought to get a bigger ring
because I have fat fingers
and anything less than 1 carat
would look too small on my finger.

Bigger rock = longer time to save up for it.
Hee hee :D

I wanted to stall time
because I was afraid of the engagement coming too soon.

I know that you're thinking that this sounds like a whole load of crap but it's somewhat true.

Well, I like diamonds, that's true, I won't deny it. LOL.
And the other truth is that I was afraid of marriage.

However, I knew that the clock was ticking at the same time.
I was approaching a 'ripe age' for marriage.
Mike would try to 'prep me' by telling me that I'm not young anymore.
Pfft. Why gee thanks for rubbing it in.

It was also somewhat inevitable that Mike and I were definitely heading there. . . down the aisle.

We would speak about marriage every now and then but we knew we had plenty of time back then so it didn't really bother me.

But I knew, I HAD to deal with this issue sooner or later.
I needed to overcome my fear.

So we both made the decision to sign up for the pre-marriage course (even before the engagement happened). I'll write more about this course in a separate post.

We both discovered that we knew each other inside out SO WELL, it was almost a perfect match. But knowing each other inside out but refusing to accommodate to each other's wants and needs is a separate issue altogether.

It is something that we're still working on today, together and will continue working on, for the rest of the days of our lives (I hope).

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